I never liked a girl with so much intensity. I don’t know
what my life would have been like without her appearance. She inspired me to
propose her and gave me the determination to pursue her. She taught me the
courage to stand her rejection. She told me that she did not believe in love
and did not want to get into these ‘shitty’ stuff. I had no words to convince
her. Perhaps she was more mature in this regard. I just love her in recesses of
my other thoughts. I hypothesize stories of our dating, dream wonderful
experiences with her. I imagine every possible thing that could have happened
between us. For that I should thank her for giving me the freedom of feeling
varied pleasures. I miss her, to be with her. let she take her own time to
decide upon me. If I am able to love her, she will realize it’s not a ‘shitty’
stuff at all.
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I want to learn if there is any
rudimentary rumor in her heart about the fact that I am in love with her. Ask
her if you can, not to delay if she can: her response to my crave for something
she has in her subtle sensuousness that would give me respite in my solitary
afterlife.
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I see so many
youthful girls around me. But I don’t see a NIKITA among them. I always regret
for having no reply for what they are so proud of. I miss her more than my
no-girlfriend status. She never seemed interested in me. Yet I dared to confess
my love despite all second thoughts. Sacrificing myself to her. When I joke
everybody thinks it’s joke. But when I’m serious everybody still thinks it’s
joke. She’s ignorant of what she is, apart from being just a girl.
She’s my joke.
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She’s my joke.
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I’ve stopped seeing any girl just because she’s not NIKITA. I
saw a dream last night. After a long time I saw her. She was saying that she’d
speak to any guy but me. She did not mention the reason. She looked beautiful,
but she was not willing to dedicate it to me. I was sad. She was glad over my
humiliation.
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Sorry I was sleeping so I couldn’t answer. It doesn’t matter
if NIKITA loves you or me or someone else. But I regret that I could never know
a thing about her. She was and still is so mysterious. As far as my confession
is concerned, I did mention the depth of my love in the card. I could never
speak to her as she looked like a scared fawn. I wonder why the girls of our
class did not refer any bite of that commotion. She and they seemed so
indifferent towards us. Ruthless folks!
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I am thinking about her. Why am I so anxious? Will it make my
wish happen? I don’t want to get a flower and play ‘she loves me-she loves
you’. It’s girlish. Do a girl’s thing for a girl? Ridiculous! Am eager to have
a news of her. Oh that girl! Just shout her name when you are online. She may
hear it. Ask her not to shy or fear. Shweta ma’am is not near.
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She is a book. I don’t know interesting or boring. I am not
acting like a sentimental kid. Am I? Just talking about some weird stuff. I
wish she remains forever like that pretty and ‘dumb’ schoolgirl.
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I don’t want to get over this episode. For it relieves me. It
gives me a reason to get down to my past. I want to talk over and over about it
because I love it more than I love her. Actually I don’t love her as much I
make it seem. I can’t do that. How can I be so serious about a girl who has
never spoken to me at her own will? She is not the only bird I admired. But she
is the bird I admired the most just because she had an ethereal aura. She
inspired me and still does.
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Nikita I miss you still in this lonesome life of
mine. You was my first favorite of all those chic babes. I don't know what's your
address or call no. but I m always keen to meet u. I want to see you again. I want
to hear you again. Oh it pains right at my heart. I submit my substance to you just
for my satisfaction. If you let me confess--- I love you always. Please it’s
the only realization in my life. I can’t promise you your dream date but I can
promise you the best consequence of love. You can keep it safe if you wish.
Let me resume. I love you Nikita. But why should you love me? The first assertion need not imply a vice-versa. Can a hypothesis drawn out of nowhere bring a revolution in somebody's life? An insane's vision of love is not worth-believing. It is an outstanding shit to throw at a queen's bitch. But nay of late you must pay your precious attention to this eccentric soul that it carries it as an axiom of the euclidean rank and incorporates in its essence because it wants to feel like you and it is you what it aims to become.
Imagine us exchange our places. I’m with your friends with an everlasting smile and you r among my friends with a captivating smartness. now let a day come in the two lives when they cross each other on their ways to their respective destinations and finally they discover that they have lost their destinations. They wonder over the issue like a foolish philosopher and began to fall in love. Is it not obvious that they embrace because they have a desire to annex each other? So they do not contain their expanse to the assigned boundaries and begins the sweetest process in the universe. This is a wrong circumstance to get into a prank and so they withdraw but at the end of the famous nine-term business the foolish philosopher shows its face.
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Let me resume. I love you Nikita. But why should you love me? The first assertion need not imply a vice-versa. Can a hypothesis drawn out of nowhere bring a revolution in somebody's life? An insane's vision of love is not worth-believing. It is an outstanding shit to throw at a queen's bitch. But nay of late you must pay your precious attention to this eccentric soul that it carries it as an axiom of the euclidean rank and incorporates in its essence because it wants to feel like you and it is you what it aims to become.
Imagine us exchange our places. I’m with your friends with an everlasting smile and you r among my friends with a captivating smartness. now let a day come in the two lives when they cross each other on their ways to their respective destinations and finally they discover that they have lost their destinations. They wonder over the issue like a foolish philosopher and began to fall in love. Is it not obvious that they embrace because they have a desire to annex each other? So they do not contain their expanse to the assigned boundaries and begins the sweetest process in the universe. This is a wrong circumstance to get into a prank and so they withdraw but at the end of the famous nine-term business the foolish philosopher shows its face.
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I am getting
nowhere with this affair. I can see the sky because it’s dark. I have let my
mind liberate in its powerful silence. The sun is yet to appear. Whatever I
should do this is the appropriate time. Just forget! Meditate…
I am a giant telescope radiotype. I can sense the pulse of stars billions of light years away. I can see galaxies and constellations revolving around me obediently. I set my eye in the sky, seeking extraterrestrial in some planet with life resources. I see novae. I see nebulae. All incredible things! Solitary stars. Binary stars. White dwarfs. Red giants. Pulsars. Quasars. I am a dumbstruck observer. I feel the gravity waves covering the cosmos like algae. It causes light fall and makes it difficult to travel through. For a moment I saw the moon. Pity! Suffering from some fungal infection on the face. But it never complains. It’s cute. It does not hide its hideosity. So truthful! That’s why lovers swear over it.
I see a comet going past the earth. She exclaims HI! I smile. She visits me twice a year. She makes me glad. It’s so exciting to look at her. ZOOM! She sweeps. I have feelings for her. The astronomers enquire about her from me everytime she is seen. One reason for their interest in her is that she influenes earth’s climate when she comes. And leaves behind a characteristic colorful streak in a night sky. I disclose many facts related to her. They prepare me for her future sightings. They call her NIKITA.
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I am a giant telescope radiotype. I can sense the pulse of stars billions of light years away. I can see galaxies and constellations revolving around me obediently. I set my eye in the sky, seeking extraterrestrial in some planet with life resources. I see novae. I see nebulae. All incredible things! Solitary stars. Binary stars. White dwarfs. Red giants. Pulsars. Quasars. I am a dumbstruck observer. I feel the gravity waves covering the cosmos like algae. It causes light fall and makes it difficult to travel through. For a moment I saw the moon. Pity! Suffering from some fungal infection on the face. But it never complains. It’s cute. It does not hide its hideosity. So truthful! That’s why lovers swear over it.
I see a comet going past the earth. She exclaims HI! I smile. She visits me twice a year. She makes me glad. It’s so exciting to look at her. ZOOM! She sweeps. I have feelings for her. The astronomers enquire about her from me everytime she is seen. One reason for their interest in her is that she influenes earth’s climate when she comes. And leaves behind a characteristic colorful streak in a night sky. I disclose many facts related to her. They prepare me for her future sightings. They call her NIKITA.
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Nikita. The name rang once again inside me. I’ve known a girl
by that name. I’ve been in her awe a long time ago and still live in that. I’m
searching for something amongst my school-day paraphernalia; my diaries and
albums, where might have I kept that? It’s the only picture of her that I ever
possessed. It’s the only picture of many others too who studied with me or
taught me during my +2 schooling, but she’s the only person of significance in
that class-photograph. I lost it within a year or two of my reception of it on
school-leaving day, but am missing it now. I faintly recall that I reverted to
it a couple of times when I used to think of her but I don’t remember if I
displaced it somewhere from our family album where my other school-photographs
lay. I’m looking for it for few days now and haven’t yet been able to discover
it. I don’t know what I’ll shall do with it if I get hold of it. Perhaps I’ll
just refresh my memory of her looks some aspects of which I vaguely remember.
May be I kept it inside a pocket of my school-bag. I don’t know what her life
was like then or what it is like now, but I’m conscious about mine in her
existence then and extinction now. No, it’s not here. But I must look on, for
I’m in dire need of it. She did not approach me like another girl did to fill
up her slam-book. She never seemed to foster any affection for me. She changed
her behaviour from normal to null when I started to drop hints of my love. I
still have the two love-cards one that I gave her as a token of soft expression
and the other that I prepared in the epoch before she returned the first
refusing my love. Even today they haven’t lost their scent and glitter. I did
not pursue her much but always nurtured a hope to meet her at unexpected times
and places. Gradually our schooling ended. I left the city, moved on to a
college and a new city.
I’ve no idea where she moved on to. I couldn’t find the photograph. Perhaps
I’ve lost it forever.
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It seems from my condition that I’ve been married to her. But
the fact is that I’ve just proposed her that too through a greeting card. She
has never revealed her decision. I can’t speculate anything about her. All I
can do is love her, beg her from her destiny, sit in her thoughts and prepare
more greeting cards.
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Nikita. I love her as many times she comes to me. I never
send her back disheartened. She looks into my glad eyes. I look into her
hopeful eyes. We become together again. All of a sudden it begins to rain.
People are running to get under a roof. We are not running. We are standing
still waiting for each other to wrap ourselves with our emotions. Her beautiful
figure in an exquisite composure! Head lowered and hands joined over her groin.
O heaven please reveal her thoughts. She is so intricate. Her innocence is
transforming me. She’s still without the slightest perturbation as if she has
appeared before me just to grant me her splendid vision. I’m trembling in cold.
She’s numb. Nikita! I call her. She lifts her head a little but not enough. I
support her chin on my index finger. She does not resist. Some of her locks
have once again invaded her cheek. Little drops borne out of her cuteness
falling on the earth! Her eyes are still cast below. I softly kissed her
forehead. She hugged me. Nikita. I don’t know how much I love her.
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I recently learnt through my friend that the girl who did not
reply to my proposal secretly admired him. He discovered this from one of her
friends and our onetime classmate. He told me that he was never aware of this.
She never approached him either. He and hence I also came to know that she used
to make stories of her brushes with us especially my friend. The informer also
disclosed that her friend flirted with me but loved my friend.
My reaction to this revelation:
I can only be grateful to u if she is discovered n I can know about her well-being. Just let her know I miss her more than I love her. It seems that ‘picture abhi baaki hai mere dost’ as it’s not a ‘happy ending’.
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My reaction to this revelation:
I can only be grateful to u if she is discovered n I can know about her well-being. Just let her know I miss her more than I love her. It seems that ‘picture abhi baaki hai mere dost’ as it’s not a ‘happy ending’.
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I’ve found nikita on facebook as well. search for nikita
kiran and the girl standing beside the sea is she. This time there’s no banka
or manya on her friends list. But if you compare it with her orkut friends list
you’ll identify some common people. Moreover if you take a close look at the
picture you can get an air of her charisma. She’s now wrapped herself with her
own community and I’m still the same rather in a more miserable situation. I’ve
lost my prodigy in her absence and she seems to have gained further grace. Oh!
I can’t tell you how much it pains at my vanishing point where her memories are
encrypted. It’s so blissful to watch her ashore my ocean of tears. I want to reach
her feet, to remind her of the treasure she’s lost and currently hidden inside
me. Sometimes i feel my poetry is prettier than her. But then it occurs to me
that she’s the father of my poetry. I sleep alone surrounded by my poetry. My
eyes left open guarding my conscience that protects my poetry. I don’t know the
depth of my infatuation, for my fall hasn’t ended. That’s why I call it love
for it’s going on. Many people have the hobby of stamp collection. Mine is tear
collection. Either has got no significance. Just that they serve as specimens
of past. Moments and events corresponding to the moments are preserved in them.
It’s so difficult to reproduce the stuffs I made at first attempt. but I’m
ready to recreate the same thing as it provides me the environment to enhance
my growth and ability. Let me make something out of her, that will send me to
ecstasy.
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i was just waiting for your reply. thanks for showing
this much courtesy. i just want to express my love through the unlimited things
i've written about you. if you wish i may send them to you. otherwise i'll be
quiet. perplexed to see your name as nikita sikaria. i like nikita kiran.
please let me know the reason whatever it may be. i won't mind. what if i mind?
it won't disturb your ocean of mystery.
i just want you to know that there is someone who will always love you. no matter what the circumstances turn out to be. no matter with whom you get married or settled. no matter with whom i get married or settled. but there will always be a conscience dormant like an infant inside me that you're my love, my ultimate love. please keep my confessions secret. i love very few things in this world. one is einstein, one is you, one is physics and one is god ( not mentioned in order :) because i've never met them, never known them well, always dreamt 'bout them. in some birth i'll achieve them, however distant it may be in time. i still remember you exclaimed with a "hi" one friday evening at pustak path in our previous city. i just bowed to you as i passed you. i was so delighted that you recognized me at least. everyday after bangla school tuition i expected to see you at some place in the main road. i seldom succeeded. but then i remember exactly the successful occasions. one of them was when you sat on one of your friends' lap while three of you were riding on rickshaw at the main road. one was when you were gossiping with your friends at bangla school ground after the class. just these. nikita! it rained yesterday evening. i wish you could feel this. there must be plenty of monsoons there too. so you're at an advantage. huff! i'm tired writing all this. i wonder if these will make sense to you. still i've billons of letters to write in your awe. the excitement and inspiration that you bestow upon me is insuppressible. i know this is a bad request but if you can please send me a photo of yours as an attachment to a blank mail. please!
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i just want you to know that there is someone who will always love you. no matter what the circumstances turn out to be. no matter with whom you get married or settled. no matter with whom i get married or settled. but there will always be a conscience dormant like an infant inside me that you're my love, my ultimate love. please keep my confessions secret. i love very few things in this world. one is einstein, one is you, one is physics and one is god ( not mentioned in order :) because i've never met them, never known them well, always dreamt 'bout them. in some birth i'll achieve them, however distant it may be in time. i still remember you exclaimed with a "hi" one friday evening at pustak path in our previous city. i just bowed to you as i passed you. i was so delighted that you recognized me at least. everyday after bangla school tuition i expected to see you at some place in the main road. i seldom succeeded. but then i remember exactly the successful occasions. one of them was when you sat on one of your friends' lap while three of you were riding on rickshaw at the main road. one was when you were gossiping with your friends at bangla school ground after the class. just these. nikita! it rained yesterday evening. i wish you could feel this. there must be plenty of monsoons there too. so you're at an advantage. huff! i'm tired writing all this. i wonder if these will make sense to you. still i've billons of letters to write in your awe. the excitement and inspiration that you bestow upon me is insuppressible. i know this is a bad request but if you can please send me a photo of yours as an attachment to a blank mail. please!
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everyday i don't find your mail in my inbox i experience
an urge to write to you once again. i don't know what happens to them or what
becomes of them. i'm aware that you may confuse yourself to find so many mails
around you just from a single person (who does not mean anything to you) and
which one of them should you answer (if
you at all want to do that). and
then finally you'll feel sorry for not being able to discover a response that
will conform to both of us. it doesn't delight me to make you feel sorry toward
me. for i'm more sorry toward you...i know i'm talking too much or too great,
that i'm being over-reactive at just a single response from you. i don't know
if i need to be so exhilarated or if it would create some more impression on
you. merely the illusion of communicating with you consoles me. please...i
don't know what to request...but please. i don't know if you have the time to
go through my mails. but it feels heavenly to write to you. (sigh...)
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Nikita! Ah I remember that girl with the power of mesmerism
in her elegance which I could not afford. She took to storm my scholastic
thoughts, yet enlightening me with an exceptional intelligence... She’d often
disguise herself by her friends while she virtually remained by me… I’ve no
obvious reason to love her, only that her excitement subdues her voice when she
shouts at me... I always yawn when her memories flicker in front of me. She’s
such a boring girl yet I bear her... I wonder why I am so drawn towards her but
I don’t need the answer right now. I’ve kept my windows open and the spring
gale is stealing in. I’m pretty much enjoying it. It’s after midnight but I’m
still awake despite my dizziness... I don’t adore watery eyes so I’ve a habit
of wiping them. Excuse me... Look at the sky. Can you spot the dimmest star? It
ain’t visible.
Oh I’ve already led this life, what more should I expect? … I’m blessing everyone who’s intersecting me these days; for I may sign out anytime… My talent could not achieve you. I’m going to release it into where I gathered it from – the universe. I shall once again need to be spoonfed. And I’ll be taught all what this world has learnt from me.
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Oh I’ve already led this life, what more should I expect? … I’m blessing everyone who’s intersecting me these days; for I may sign out anytime… My talent could not achieve you. I’m going to release it into where I gathered it from – the universe. I shall once again need to be spoonfed. And I’ll be taught all what this world has learnt from me.
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Nikita! I just have to remember your name and you come alive
before my eyes. As a fairy tale damsel I behold you. A cindrella or a
snow-white. I can as well regard you as pi or e which support the entire empire
of mathematics… hi! I’m stammering. I’m hesitating to say. What should I say?
What would you love to listen? Just that “I propose you.” I guess it’s enough.
I must not go beyond else I may stumble upon you. I’ll be grateful to you if
you can believe it.
Why do I write so much on you? Why do you appear so versatile to to me? Everytime I think upon you I discover a new facet of you.
You’d perhaps not worry over my stupid discoveries. But what may be vestigial for you may prove valuable to me. So I preserve them in my petty poetry.
Nikita! I’m devoid of thoughts. Unless you scratch your silence, I’m unable to continue.
Why do you fly so high?
Why do you try to defy?
Though I don’t matter to you
Don’t refuse to reply.
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Why do I write so much on you? Why do you appear so versatile to to me? Everytime I think upon you I discover a new facet of you.
You’d perhaps not worry over my stupid discoveries. But what may be vestigial for you may prove valuable to me. So I preserve them in my petty poetry.
Nikita! I’m devoid of thoughts. Unless you scratch your silence, I’m unable to continue.
Why do you fly so high?
Why do you try to defy?
Though I don’t matter to you
Don’t refuse to reply.
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You accepted my friend request. You replied to my mail. What
more should I wish? I’ve written everything I could think of you. Why do I
still consider it inadequate? You have plenty of admirers around you, some of
them you also admire in turn. Why am I desperate over you despite there being
sufficient scope in my own environ? Why am I trying to win your love despite
that it may have already been won by somebody else? Why am I trying to stand
out? Why do I experience so much pain without you? I don’t know the answer to
any of these and numerous other questions that I can’t raise before you.
Nikita! I follow your name with an exclamation mark. And then I write all this
****. Just **** it off. I was just practising to write letters addressing to
someone I love. Don’t mind it. Take it to your heart. Bye.
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Nikita, how pleasant it is to love you! Gliding gradually over a valley.
Plunging in and out of clouds. Getting to see green-bosomed earth and
crystalline lakes and rivers. Immaculate fountains falling from immense
heights. Sun shining on everything to transform into musical reflections. Birds
flying in unison. Animals travelling together. In hunt of food containing
nature’s milk. In search of tomorrow’s sun. Preparing themselves for blessings
they are deprived of. I’m but bounded always by the circle of horizon. Situated
at its centre. The universe is equally distributed in all directions no matter
where I am. Peace speaks to me in solemn voice. Hard to recognize. Difficult to
interpret. But I think I can understand. Appearing in whatever I conceive. It
forms my basis. The life is now a child’s play. Kicking in eternity’s
playground. Able to speculate its destination. Wow! I love you so much. Never
been inside you. Can’t get inside you. Because you enclose me. Your aura
encloses me. My imagination can’t penetrate you. Whatever I dare to think
springs straight from your heart. My will is governed by your will. Unstained
untainted free of all subsidiary desires. Never realized the world is so simple
so beautiful. Made of a single fragment. It’s indivisible. Breaking it would
reveal it again….....
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I used to love a girl who went to the same school as me, studied in the
same class as me, at times boarded the same bus as me, took up the same
coaching as me. It was not any important for her. But it was for me. She was a
head-turner, for me too. Swinging in the ether of my imagination. Just watch
her amongst her friends, doing her tasks. I didnt know if she had anything to
do with the problem i was concerned with. I didnt know how would it make her
feel if she caught me gazing on her. I didnt know if it was just her natural
shine or persona that attracted me. Wanting to asphyxiate in her love. Freeze
in lunar coldness. Afraid to bother her. Practicing the courage within. I
proposed myself to propose her. With what? A card. (Greek kardia heart) Should
i buy it? I decided to prepare it. What should be inside? Rose and some of my
poems (as many can be accommodated). What should be at the back?
Diamond. What should be the front cover? Do cosmological bodies make
love?
I didnt know at that time what my drawings mean. It was just an figment of my intellect. Kept it a secret from everyone else until one day i dared to step upto you and deliver it. Quite bizarre!
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I didnt know at that time what my drawings mean. It was just an figment of my intellect. Kept it a secret from everyone else until one day i dared to step upto you and deliver it. Quite bizarre!
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Nikita,
Forgive me if I'm saying these.
Since I've known you, I've gradually realized that you're at the center of an n-sided polygon. So much people ready to love you, fall at your feet at your slightest behest. Although I had some hint of these back when I proposed you, I decided to express my heartfelt admiration to your charisma and relate all the nature's beautiful things to it; without caring what the return might be.
I saw in uncountable eyes the passion to look at you, including mine. But I didn't care about them, except mine. But quite lately (nearly one year ago) I came to know that you used to admire Anish. It came as a shock to me as I never heard him musing about you. He also told me that he did not prefer to get into such things at the risk of his studies and career. But I would be nonetheless happier to see you beside my friend instead of me. If I had known this before I would not have delivered the letter. I always wish to associate peoples I appreciate. And this could be one such connection.
I won't complain about your present choice. But I can see you've put on a lot of weight (perhaps dating-effect). Everyone loses the high-school charm built on challenges and promises either due to achievements or unwillingness. Same has happened to all of us, at least me. We get more and more mature forgetting our premature instincts. never attempting to figure out what we are losing as we go on receiving many of the things we once wished.
I never knew what exactly you feel about me or felt about my earliest gift. I want you to never disclose to me for I'm a very flickerish minded creature. Sentimental. Get carried away, led by my curiosity and creativity. Very boring myself.
I never admitted so many things to anyone else. Nor have I spoken so any truths anywhere else. Not because I trust you. (what should I trust you for?) But because I feel communicating with God situated in hyperspace guiding our inner conscience secretly towards the apex of the entire system. (hope this wasn't a difficult line to comprehend.)
mmm...!!!??? seems I'm talking to a doll, dumb, listening in utmost silence. Good. ... Goodness me!
Wish to miss you for eternity. Miss the times I passed you by will or by chance.
Nikita.
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Forgive me if I'm saying these.
Since I've known you, I've gradually realized that you're at the center of an n-sided polygon. So much people ready to love you, fall at your feet at your slightest behest. Although I had some hint of these back when I proposed you, I decided to express my heartfelt admiration to your charisma and relate all the nature's beautiful things to it; without caring what the return might be.
I saw in uncountable eyes the passion to look at you, including mine. But I didn't care about them, except mine. But quite lately (nearly one year ago) I came to know that you used to admire Anish. It came as a shock to me as I never heard him musing about you. He also told me that he did not prefer to get into such things at the risk of his studies and career. But I would be nonetheless happier to see you beside my friend instead of me. If I had known this before I would not have delivered the letter. I always wish to associate peoples I appreciate. And this could be one such connection.
I won't complain about your present choice. But I can see you've put on a lot of weight (perhaps dating-effect). Everyone loses the high-school charm built on challenges and promises either due to achievements or unwillingness. Same has happened to all of us, at least me. We get more and more mature forgetting our premature instincts. never attempting to figure out what we are losing as we go on receiving many of the things we once wished.
I never knew what exactly you feel about me or felt about my earliest gift. I want you to never disclose to me for I'm a very flickerish minded creature. Sentimental. Get carried away, led by my curiosity and creativity. Very boring myself.
I never admitted so many things to anyone else. Nor have I spoken so any truths anywhere else. Not because I trust you. (what should I trust you for?) But because I feel communicating with God situated in hyperspace guiding our inner conscience secretly towards the apex of the entire system. (hope this wasn't a difficult line to comprehend.)
mmm...!!!??? seems I'm talking to a doll, dumb, listening in utmost silence. Good. ... Goodness me!
Wish to miss you for eternity. Miss the times I passed you by will or by chance.
Nikita.
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Why – I do not know. But I still think I am living without you. There
are your pieces fixed in my house, to replenish my heart with your memories
everytime I look at them. I have the card that you returned and another that I
couln’t deliver. The poems which I wrote and the stories which I made. The
dreams which I never got chance to see. The loose attachment to everything in
this world because I lack the adhesive that lies in your love.
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A cold pleasant morning! I miss your warmth that you’ve never provided
me. Laid on my bed, lost in lucid dreams I can’t stop fantasizing about you.
The most wonderful thing that I wished to happen for me. For last four years
I’m searching for a way to approach you to convince you of my competence to
take your side but unsuccessfully. I just want you to understand when I say ‘I
love You’, when I print my feelings on letters, when I suddenly gasp for you. I
assure you that you won’t lose any freedom, that you enjoy, by believing in me.
I don’t need your commitment. I don’t need your company. I don’t need anything
in return from you. Only thing I need is your trust in me. Trust that I could
be the one for you. That I may become the one for you sometime besides the
present. What do you have that appeals to me? What do I see in you that keeps
my aspiration alive? I might have answered four years back but after I have
thought so much of you in the meantime, I realize that those reasons are not
suitable. That the factors which initiated my journey toward you are frail. That
there’s something deeper deep down
there. Hi! I can’t sever my tie with you. Invisible subtle tie.
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Nikita. Your name purifies me. When I feel my sins are pulling me away
from you, I say thy name. Like a soft romantic breezy morning, your memories
comfort my heart. I gaze at the eastern horizon, anticipating the rise of sun,
get its very first glimpse and express my wish to succeed in my endeavours to
impress you. I always assert myself that I love you rather than assuring that
You love me, for its more important to remember that I am made for you, not You
are made for me. I won’t touch you if you feel it inappropriate. But please let
me reach to your utmost proximity so that you may induce love in me. Love for
yourself and the essence of nature which you symbolize. Hi! I want to greet you
a thousand times, and another thousand times afterwards, in gratitude to your
greeting that holy evening. Heaven knows what I see I you. Why am I such an
addict of your grace? You make me happier than counting stars and starlets in
the cosmic bosom. Happier than a walk on green dewy turf. Happier than a
hearing of chirpy voice of little birds. Much much happier than when I
celebrate my ordinary triumphs. You make me happier than any source of joy I
ever imagined. I’ll love you as long as our children – my hopes are alive, as
long as this happiness measures, and as long as I remain ignorant of interest
in you, each of these is infinite in my convention.
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